


Larry-oke

by SRassier



Series: Larry-oke [1]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Humor, Karaoke, outside pov
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-23
Updated: 2020-04-23
Packaged: 2021-03-02 01:34:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,858
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23796985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SRassier/pseuds/SRassier
Summary: Larry runs karaoke, he thought he'd seen everything...until he met the Hargreeves.
Relationships: The Hargreeves Family
Series: Larry-oke [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1717192
Comments: 5
Kudos: 73





	Larry-oke

**Author's Note:**

> Here's a play list if you don't know the songs. I'd highly recommend checking the songs out that you don't know. Especially the last one...it helps for the joke.
> 
> We are Family – Sister Sledge  
> Love Shack – B-52s  
> Stormy Weather - Lena Horne  
> I Think We’re Alone Now – Tiffany  
> Sugar Daddy from Hedwig and the Angry Inch  
> Come Monday – Jimmy Buffett  
> Bodies - Drowning Pool  
> Summer Lovin – John Travolta and Olivia Newton John  
> Mercedes Benz – Janis Joplin  
> Don’t Go Breakin My Heart – Elton John and Kiki Dee  
> Satisfied – Hamilton  
> Me and My Shadow – Frank Sinatra and Sammy Davis Jr.

To say the new guys were weird was the understatement of the decade. 

Larry had been doing this for so many years now, he lost track of when he even started. He always loved music, unfortunately for him, he didn’t have a real talent for it. Of course, he could carry a tune fine enough for his current profession, but not enough to make a living out of it and he couldn’t learn an instrument if his life depended on it. So one day, one of his friends suggested that he get some equipment and start to DJ. That way he could make a living in music but stay safe from thrown tomatoes.

He DJd for a few years before he got popular enough to make a career out of it. He had fun doing weddings and bar mitzvahs, but the real joy came once he added karaoke to his repertoire. Some nights were awful having to hear the same screechy voices attempting songs way out of their range, but these were people who just wanted to have fun and many had to step way out of their comfort zone to do it, so Larry was proud of each and every one of them.

He used to say he had seen everything, but he had to change his tune once the new guys walked into the bar. He was a regular staple at Hannigans on Saturday nights. When he would not get booked, people would ask the owner where the hell he was, and eventually he started to get booked every weekend. It was nice having a regular gig. He knew a lot of the people who came up to sing and who was going to do what genre. Sometimes, though…someone would come along to surprise him. This brings him to the new guys.

He was setting up his gear around 8 for his 9 o’clock start time when they walked in and took up three tables on the far end of the dance floor. They were an eclectic group to say the least, the first one he noticed was the tall one. Tall wasn’t even the word for it…this guy was massive. He looked like he may have the body of a gorilla underneath that over coat. Larry chuckled at the thought and pulled his microphones out of their bag.

Gorilla guy was sitting next to a woman who Larry swears he’s seen before. Maybe she just has one of those faces, but either way, she was gorgeous. He secretly hoped she could sing, too. Too many times he saw really hot girls who sang like shit and Larry being such a music fan, this kind of bummed him out.

Next to her was a guy wearing all black leather, which Larry thought might be a bit hot for this time a year, but to each his own. Leather guy was having his ear talked off by the one at the table that Larry just knew was going to come up to the stage the most. He had an eye for it, it was always the loud ones and the eccentric ones. This guy was both.

The other woman at the table looked like the one that the rest of the group dragged out. There’s always one. The one who doesn’t want to go but is afraid that she will stop getting invited so goes along every now and then just to keep up appearances. Larry would not be hearing her sing unless they all got up for a rousing group sing of some bullshit cliché like “We are Family” or “Love Shack.” Neither song was on his banned list…yet.

The last chair (or more appropriately chairs…plural) was occupied by what looked to be a 14-year-old kid. Larry was curious as to whether or not they all knew that kids can’t be in bars after 9. Sitting next to the kid, in its own chair none the less, was a mannequin. Larry actually did an honest to goodness sitcom style double take at the sight of this kid with his arm draped over a mannequin with no bottom half and only one arm.

Once he was all set up, Larry went to the bar to grab a water before getting started. He saw a few of his regulars trickle in and soon others would follow. He waited until the bartender, Stacy came back with his water and asked, “What’s with the kid? They do know they’re getting kicked out right?”  
“Nope. He gets to stay.”  
“What?”  
“The owner got a call from the freaking governor today. I guess he has some sort of weird disease that makes his body age wrong so he’s totally legal.”  
“Why the hell would the governor care about that?”  
“I guess they used to be somebodies back in the day…heroes or some shit. All I know is that Bill called me and said that when they came in, the kid was good to go.”  
Larry looked back over at the table of weirdos. “What’s with the mannequin?”  
“Who knows, maybe he’s a psycho.”

Larry thanked Stacy for the water and went back on stage to start his show.  
“Ladies and gentlemen…welcome to Hannigan’s bar and this is…” He held his mic out to the crowd and his regulars chanted back at him, “LARRY-OKE!!”  
“That’s right, it’s your old pal Larry, ready to spin some tunes so you can spit some lyrics. There are books at a few of the tables, but if you don’t see something you want, let me know…I may just have a surprise up my sleeve for you!” He grabbed a paper that one of his regulars had thrown on soon after walking in. “Let’s get this party started with Emily!”

Emily came up and rocked some Joan Jett. She always did. A few more regulars and some that he didn’t know came up and just as Larry was starting to get worried the table of weirdos would just be spectators all night, he picked up a paper and read the name. “Allison!” The beauty sitting with the weirdos got up and walked to the stage like she owned the place. Larry couldn’t help but think, ‘please don’t suck, please don’t suck, please don’t suck’ as he cued up her song. He had nothing to worry about because when she finally opened her mouth, she absolutely slayed Stormy Weather in the style of Lena Horne.

He was excited to say the least. What made him even more excited was when he called out the next name and started cuing the song and out of the corner of his eye saw Allison give an encouraging shove to Gorilla man and Larry couldn’t help but double check with him when he got on stage that he wrote down the right song. He assured him that he did so Larry hit play and sat back to enjoy. The Gorilla man (or Luther as Larry would definitely NOT be calling him in his head) didn’t so much sing as he did speak to a beat when he started with, “Children behave, that’s what they say when we’re together…” It wasn’t good but it wasn’t unbearable. The real treat came in the instrumental break when he started dancing. Was that supposed to be a crab? Larry decided that if he never DJd another day in his life that would be ok. Tonight will never be topped.

A few more regulars came up with the standard Journey followed by Billy Joel. Larry always liked to see new names, so a smile came across his face when he read out “Klaus? Is there a Klaus in the House?!”  
Over at their table, the rest of the weirdos finally got the man’s attention as he seemed to never stop talking. Once he finally realized it was his turn he jumped to his feet and rushed the stage. Larry put on Sugar Daddy from Hedwig and the Angry Inch and sat back to enjoy. What the man lacked in talent he made up for in pure enthusiasm. It got one of the bigger applause breaks all night due to the fact that is seemed the man had no idea how awful he was and Larry’s regulars were nothing if not encouraging.

Next up was Stacy. She always liked to jump in with a Jimmy Buffett song at least once during the night. Tonight, it was Come Monday and knowing she wasn’t drunk and would be nice to his gear, he used her song as a time to go to the bathroom.

He got back and enjoyed the rest of her performance and then, taking the mic back as everyone clapped, he read out the next name. “Alright everyone, let’s give it up for Diego!!!!”  
Up popped leather man. Larry had a funny little thought that maybe HE was the sugar daddy that Klaus was singing about earlier. Who knows? What he does know is that of all the genres that the weirdos could have sang based on their appearances, he called this one a mile away. Diego yell/sang Bodies by Drowning Pool as if he was living it. The rest of the weirdo table just sort of cringed as he did it but jumped up at the end to clap louder than anyone else in the bar.

Larry started blocking out his regulars, spending the entirety their songs anticipating the next weird song from the weirdos. It was his new hobby; it was his new passion. When he got a slip with one of his ‘banned’ songs, he ignored his own rule completely just to hear Allison and Klaus sing it together. A song got put on the banned list when he got terribly sick of it but he had a feeling that these two would make “Summer Lovin” fun again. They didn’t do well enough to get it unbanned, but A for effort.

As they were about to walk off the stage, Larry grabbed Klaus by the shoulder and kept him up there. “Not so fast, Sugar Daddy…you’re up next!” Klaus was over the moon. He grabbed the mic back and belted (shrieked?) Mercedes Benz in the style of Janis Joplin. It. Was. Awful. So of course, it got a standing ovation.

The rest of the night went like all the others. A few names popped up over and over (Klaus, Allison, Nell, Peter) with a few spattering’s of people getting their nerve as the night progressed and the alcohol took control. Larry was getting done with one of Peter’s country jams when he saw two new names. He always loved the real late comers because they were either super drunk and he got a good laugh out of them trying to rap, or they were shy, and he enjoyed people finally getting their karaoke feet wet. This was neither. Or both. Larry couldn’t tell.

“Um,” He double checked the names. “Five…and Delores?” He glanced over at the weirdo table and saw most of them get nervous looks on their faces as the kid stood up, grabbed the freaking mannequin and walked on stage. When he reached Larry, he looked him in the eye, grabbed the microphones and asked, “Do you have a stool or something?”  
Larry couldn’t speak. He just ran to the bar and brought a stool back as the kid was putting one of the mics in a holder and lowering it down so that when the mannequin was propped up on the stool, it was hovering near her mouth.

Larry had heard a lot of duets in his day. Most were halfway decent; many were like the Allison/Klaus one from earlier where one can sing and the other sounds like a dying cat. This, however, was a new experience for him. He hit play and the upbeat pop music started to blare and the kid watched the screen for his cue. Once the blue words popped up on screen indicating the male voice, he belted out (quite well in Larry’s opinion) “Don’t go breakin my heart.”  
The pink words ‘I couldn’t if I tried,’ came and went with no sound coming from the stage in any way, shape or form.  
“Oh honey If I get restless…” the kid had some good pipes. It almost made Larry forget…  
‘Baby you’re not that kind.’ Words on the screen…no sound but the cheesy backing track.

Larry didn’t think the scene could get much more awkward until the kid got to the chorus. He actually stepped over to the mannequin, threw his arm around her and they SHARED A MIC as he sang “Oooh oooh, nobody knows it…” completely alone. Larry decided that NOW it couldn’t get worse but then the instrumental part came on. 

There were three kinds of people when the instrumental breaks come on during their karaoke performance. The first knows their song inside and out and has a plan. They have a little dance ready or they just sway to the music until it’s over and start singing again. The second type is the type that forgot that there was such a spot in the song. They usually stand awkwardly, not knowing where to look or what to do until it’s over. The third kind gets so nervous that they have to fill the silence. They talk to their friends or giggle, anything to break the tension of those few bars of non-singing.

This kid…was a fourth kind. He simply stood, one hand on the microphone, the other shoved deep into his pocket wearing the most painfully bored expression on his face. He didn’t dance, didn’t talk, didn’t laugh or seem to be having fun at all. He just waited for the lyrics to start up again and he and his…friend? Finished the song.

Larry cautiously walked up and took the mic from the kid as he collected his…date? And headed back to their table to a spattering of unsure applause and whispers from nearby tables of, ‘what the hell was that?’ and ‘I hope they come back next week.’ “Alright, Let’s give it up for Five and the lovely, Delores!!” He’s pretty sure he saw the kid smile at that. Great, he made Benjamin Button smile by complimenting his plastic girlfriend. 

As the night wound down, the kid thankfully didn’t subject the room to another duet. He seemed content in the singular performance and sat back watching what Larry would find out later to be his siblings as they sang. Allison came up again and did a phenomenal rendition of Satisfied from Hamilton. Larry couldn’t help but tell her later at closing time that she sang that song like she had played Angelica Schuyler on Broadway. She just winked at him and caught up with the weirdos as they left.

Larry always liked to do the last song of the night. It helped people wind down before last call and he got a kick out of it as well. Tonight, he was going to buck tradition because he saw one last paper on his desk. He saw that it was one of the weirdos, but the other name did not match anyone at their table. Did they make friends while here? Or was someone messing with them? “Alright for our last performance of the evening, I’m gonna need Klaus…I’m gonna need Ben!”

Klaus rushed up on stage just like the first time. He set up the mic stand just like his brother did earlier, but Larry couldn’t help but notice that Klaus didn’t even bring up a mannequin. He just nodded to Larry as if he was ready and Larry figured, ‘what the hell?’ and pushed play. 

The jazzy music started, and Klaus snapped along like a proper lounge singer. The first set of words came and went with Klaus simply staring at the empty space next to the mic stand before taking the next line, “Like the seashore clings to the sea.” Larry made a mental note to check in when he got home to see if there were any reports of escaped mental patients in the area as Klaus skipped another two lines only to chime in on, “Let all the other’s fight and fuss, whatever happens,” He then tilted his head toward the nothing and finished, “Weeeeee’ve gooooot uuuuuuus!”

Holy shit. Larry was torn. The professional in him wanted to never see these people again, but the less practical, more fun side wanted them to follow him around the state, going to every place he hosted karaoke and never stop surprising him.

As he was packing up, the last of the patrons were trickling out into the parking lot and all that was left was the weirdos. They were at the bar thanking Stacy for her and the owner letting them be there and for a genuinely good time. He gave them all a polite smile as they walked by, only to replace it with a wide grin as Klaus waved on the way out and called back, “See you next week Larry-oke!!


End file.
